Larry the lizard is coming to tea

by Michael Skywood Clifford 1978

Larry the lizard is coming to tea
“Oh what fun!” I shouted with glee
But frowns appeared on Aunt Connie’s face
“Oh not him for tea! What a disgrace!”

Now when Larry the lizard comes to tea
The vanishing food is a wonder to see:
He bolts down his custard
He stuffs down a cake
licks cream from his fingers
And troughs the milk shake

Larry the lizard had been once before
He was everso bold when asking for more
He showed us his manners leaving crumbs on the floor
Then Aunt Connie snapped she could take it no more.

She grabbed at his tail and swung him around
But he kept stuffing triffle as the table passed round
Aunt Connie was so angry she showed him the door
Oh crumbs! Larry the lizard is still coming at four
“Now Aunt Connie,” I said, “I’ve a wonderful plan.
I’ll cook young Larry a boiled egg flan.
There wouldn’t be crumbs
There wouldn’t be dirt
And then there’ll be no need to change your skirt.”

At quarter past four the door bell was heard
But inside the house not a single soul stirred
Old Aunt Connie said she didn’t give a fig
She’d always feed lizards but never feed pigs

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